Dear Mr. Miles:
Admittedly, we had begun to feel foolish for our April 10th letter to you, accusing you of risking the well-being of the U.S. airline industry by cooking up a publicity stunt for your novel, Dear American Airlines. Your prompt response and assurance that American Airlines was solely responsible for its own mismanagement, followed by your publisher's invitation to send you to Greenwood on June 3 for a public 
signing and reading, made us feel that perhaps we'd been too swift in our denunciation.
And then we received your author photo. Sure, at first we were surprised, having pictured you more sinister, perhaps with a Van Dyke beard and a monocle. Maybe we were even impressed and a bit attracted by your boyish good looks. It was only upon closer inspection that we realized we were correct in our original appraisal.
In the photo you are sitting atop a license plate-lined counter, similar to the one at Ajax Diner in Oxford, Mississippi, where rumor has it you've consumed many a chicken-fried steak. There between your legs, in the symbolic position of vulnerability, is a license plate for our own Leflore County, Mississippi. It's as if you are saying, "I sit on you! I have conquered you!"
Call us paranoid, as others have before you, but the implication is clear, sir. You are taking revenge for our previous comments. It proves only that you will stoop, or squat, to any lengths to cover up the fact that you have engaged American Airlines in a cynical, multi-million dollar publicity scheme to launch your book onto the bestseller list ... and the fate of air travelers be damned!
We send you this only to say that we know what you're up to, and to provide fair warning for your slated appearance here. We cannot be responsible for the uncontrolled ire of Leflore County residents when they discover they have been sat upon, symbolically or otherwise.
Sincerely,
Bookstore Staff
P.S. We noticed that your book is available on audio cassette. What's up with that?
Read the author's response here.
